Wednesday, July 1, 2009

5 A Day

No I am not making reference to fruits and vegetables (heaven forbid - my 5 a day ingestion quota usually consists of cigarettes / cups of coffee / different bars of chocolate...I know if I have managed to limit myself to just 5 of each of the above, then it is the sign of a relatively good day).

I just wanted to share 5 things that have made me smile today...

1. Out of the mouth's of babes

On the school run today a song was being played on the radio. Both boys, as standard, asked what the song was called. Usually I have no idea and just make something up rather than deal with their indignation at not getting a seemingly simple question answered. But this time I didn't have to resort to fabrication. 'It's called Big Bird in a Small Cage', I answered. Much hilarity ensued as they pictured a wedged Big Bird from Sesame Street and I didn't have the heart to correct them. It was, after all, pretty funny. Then they asked, 'who sings the song?' This is always the follow up to the first question and, again, usually I try to look as if I am earnestly trying to remember, before just making it up. But once again I came up trumps.

'Well, this is a funny thing boys...tell me if there is a bit of his name that you think is cool. His name is Patrick (boy's surname).'

'Wow! Yes!', cries Johnny Drama. '...Just like Patrick out of Spongebob!'

2. Out of the mouth's of babes...the sequel

The conversation seamlessly morphed into a discussion on how big the boys were when they were born.

'Well, Captain Underpants was 15 inches long and weighed 3lbs and Johnny Drama, you were about 19 inches long and weighed 6lbs.' (This was of course accompanied by reckless driving whilst trying to demonstrate the approximate size of each child using hand gestures.)

'How big was (older brother) when he was born?'

'Oh, he was only 12 inches long and he weighed just 1lb.'

Johnny Drama in particular seemed to be relishing this information. Being the youngest child, he is always trying to find a source of one-up-manship and to discover that he was the biggest baby of my three boys delighted him no end.

He did have one concern however. 'Oh no. I don't think older brother can be a Super Hero like me and Captain Underpants if he was born with only one Pow.'


'When I was a baby I had 6 Pows and Captain Underpants had 3 Pows...but older brother only had one Pow and I don't think that is enough Pows to be a Super Hero, is it mummy?'

I was going to explain his misunderstanding but on reflection decided that I liked his interpretation of pounds vs Pows much more. (In a similar vein that's why I haven't corrected the use of 'ear loaf' and 'eye bulb' just yet. Such innocent mispronunciations that make me smile every time. I am sure one day they will use the correct terms but, boy, will I miss their home grown originals.)

3. Round and round the garden...

Finding a roundabout in Chicago is like trying to find a Dunkin Donuts without a policeman sitting inside. Very rare indeed. You can't drive 100 metres without encountering a stop sign or a traffic light, but roundabouts are few and far between. In fact, I think I may live near the only 2 roundabouts in the whole of Chicago, if not America. They are only little. Like a miniature garden plonked in the middle of the road that we have to drive around. But my, they cause me so much pleasure. If I am having a bad day, I just have to lurk at the end of my street with either of the roundabouts in sight. And wait.

Before long, a souped up Cadillac or a Ford Pickup (substantial enough to pull a house) will come into view and then the fun begins. Why? Because Americans don't have the foggiest idea on how to negotiate a roundabout. I haven't seen one of them do it correctly yet. You can see the fear and confusion in their eyes as their car languidly saunters to a stop. What the?! There is a long pause whilst the driver surveys the situation. And then, without fail, the car will tentatively go around the roundabout the wrong way. Typically the shortest viable route. It's a source of constant amusement and proof that really silly things make me chuckle every time.

4. The return of Rocky

My dear friend Rocky called me today. We haven't spoken for 4 months after I got my knickers in a twist over something and nothing. I have missed her so much. She is one of the funniest, most vibrant Aussie nutcases I have ever come across - we 'clicked' the first day we met and had been close friends for almost 2 years. The funny thing is that I had decided to email her today but she beat me too it. I am so insanely glad. As it typically is with good friends, when we spoke it was though no time had passed at all. Within seconds of the conversation starting we were both wittering on and laughing hysterically, all differences resolved. We're going to put the world to rights again over a bottle of wine tomorrow night. And I can't wipe the smile off my face.

5. The infamous 'semi-annual' Victoria Secret sale

One of my quick errands today was to nip into VS to buy a strapless bra. I don't wear strapless as a rule - not having sufficient boobage to securely rest clothing on and prevent it from sliding down to my waist. However, my one and only party frock has a complicated neck line and so venturing into strapless bra territory was a necessity. Not only did I find the most perfect strapless bra, which comes complete with more padding than your average rolled sock to create that which Mother Nature chose not to bless me with. But the whole thing is lined with this sticky substance that adheres to my skin, rather like Velcro, therefore reducing the likelihood of it gradually inching itself down to my belly button. Of course, there are no guarantees but I figure that gravity is going to have its work cut out with this little beauty.

Not only that but it was half price in the sale. Result! I was so excited that I promptly got carried away and bought 3 more (non-strapless) bras and a variety of matching knickers, which ultimately made it the most expensive strapless bra purchase in history.

In the past 2 months I have bought more bras and knickers than your average call girl - all impossibly glam and lacey on the outside, but most importantly filled with more gel than most implants on the inside. Strange time of life to be just a little obsessed with underwear shopping, given that my chance of a romantic interlude with the opposite sex right now is remote to 'Dream On'.

But if the opportunity does come knocking then you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to be ready. And just the thought of the vague possibility of sharing this gorgeous stash of undies with someone other than 2 cats and 2 children under the age of 5 can't help but make me smile in anticipation.


  1. I better hit that VS sale too!! Thanks for the tip.

  2. Love the Pows! Much more fun than pounds.

  3. Great post, made me smile all the way through. 1 pow though? Your boy was teeny tiny.