Monday, May 16, 2011

Did I Mention He is Obsessed with His Genitals?

I couldn't resist posting this....I drafted it some time ago and it is purely going on record to contribute to the material I am going to use to embarrass Johnny Drama with his girlfriend(s) in future years...

It's nearing bedtime and tonight there is more than the usual pandemonium, due to the fact that the boys are on a promise to watch Total Wipeout if they get showered and into their pajamas before the show starts at 6pm.

I am darting around upstairs, supposedly assisting the boys but actually distracted by case packing.

Johnny Drama stands in the middle of his bedroom, naked but for a pair of socks.  His penis, as usual, is safely enclosed in his left hand.  He glances over to the wall, then without hesitation strides over and pushes his penis against the radiator.

"OUCH!" he shouts and immediately springs back.  "Hot!  Hot-Hot-Hot!"  He plonks his luscious bottom onto the carpet and stretches and waves his penis around, I am assuming to cool it a little.  I continue to hang back in the doorway long enough to hear him say, under his breath,

"Ooh - that's the first time I have burnt my penis."  There is a note of incredulity and awe in his voice.

He looks over his shoulder at the radiator.

"Hmm - I bet that feels better with a sock."  He wiggles over and places his socked foot gently onto the ribbed heater.

"Aaah.  Much better.  Next time, I just need a sock."

Problem solved.  

"MUM!  Mummy!  I've got an ouchee.  Can I have an ice pack?  I have REALLY burnt my penis here..."

Of all the injuries I had anticipated as a mother, I have to say that this has never been one of them.  And no...of course I didn't kiss it better.


  1. Oh too funny. My little guy is just obsessed with talking about all things below the waist. Whenever he gets the chance, he pops a word like "Weiner" or "Willy" into a conversation. If he can get "testicles" in, well it's like winning the lottery! Boys!

  2. Littleboy 1 is obsessed too. I have to stop him from shouting it out in the playground - whatever injury seems to befall him, it is always the penis that is involved somehow.

  3. LOL, cute. I must admit, my boy seems not to have to same kind of obsession, though he did manage to attach a small horseshoe magnet to it one time, through his pyjamas thankfully. :)

  4. My eldest is always fiddling with his, my hubby says it is a security thing!

  5. !! To BURN it!! Oh, dear, poor little mite. Hooray for socks! x

  6. I'm wondering if there's a market out there for heat-retardant penis socks. Sounds like that's what he needs.