He texted yesterday. Has been busy coordinating a relief effort for Haiti and is leaving for the island today as the head of a team of physicians and nurses. He expects to be there several weeks. Can I wish him good luck?
Well isn't that bloody irritating?
He has an admirable humanitarian excuse to explain his lack of contact.
So despite my intention of ignoring him when he contacted me, I felt that would be a little churlish given the fact that he is off to save the world (or at least a little corner of it). Instead I replied: "C'est grand. Le mieux de la chance". Couldn't resist trying to appear worldly and sophisticated by wishing him luck in french. It's not often I get the satisfaction of having the last word in another language.
Unless you count gibberish of course.
Update #2: Feedback on New Girlfriend
Oh I shouldn't care in the least...but the jury has spoken and the verdict is in.
I WIN! (In the 'who's the nicest / prettiest / smartest / funniest / warmest / most likeable' stakes that I have been sweating over in my head since NG met our friends in the UK.)
Ridiculous high school behaviour to even care - but strangely satisfying all the same. Of course I don't win an actual tangible prize (like an ex-husband crawling back to my infinitely superior self with his tail firmly between his legs) but I do have amazing friends who are 110% supportive and think I am irreplaceable...which actually will do just as well, thank you very much.
Update #3: Why It All Makes So Much Sense
I have been bemoaning the fact that it is so stereotypical for ex to be in a relationship with a younger woman and just how predictable that whole scenario is. However, when I look at HIM as a person rationally I realise that this is not necessarily an indication of how he wants to shed his responsibilities and recapture his lost youth, but rather a direct reflection of finding someone who connects to the things that are important to him in life.
Like his work, for example.
If friends were to describe ex they may say Tall, Witty, Smart, Thoughtful, Adoring (obviously, back in the day), Sporty....but one word which they always tended to use to describe him was Workaholic.
When I met ex he was a 24 year old whipper snapper who worked for the same company I did. I was 6 years older at the time and held a senior role in the company compared to his relatively junior one. But his talent and ambition were apparent to everyone he worked with, which was one of the qualities that I was most attracted to. Despite the age difference, we seemed to have much in common. I loved the fact that he was so driven, so passionate about what he was doing, so conscientuous about doing it to the best of his ability. At the same time, I thought this dedication would become more balanced as he got older.
If anything, it just increased over time. Of course, ex never saw himself as a Workaholic. He could always cite other people who were at the office longer and who worked weekends. But typically, no matter what time he got home and where he was at weekends, he would always be preoccupied with emails on his Blackberry or working on an 'essential' presentation on his computer. The fact that he was physically in my space didn't mean that mentally (and, more often than not, emotionally too) he was still engrossed in his job.
Ex is a man who is defined by how well he does his job. How successful he is. How he can keep outperforming himself time and time again. And that's not just my bitter, biased view - it's what he readily admitted to in marital counselling. He loved having a wife who was successful and business-like and could relate to him on that level. He always told the story of how he was attracted to me before he even got to know me, watching me stride across the car park from my sports car, in my power suit and heels. He really struggled when I became a stay-at-home-mum (he wasn't the only one) and losing such an important connection which so strongly defines him.
So it's obvious he is going to have far more in common with a woman dedicated to her career than to a family (even if it is HIS family).
His other interest in life is running and it turns out he met New Girlfriend through the running club that I encouraged him to join (with me) when we first moved to Chicago over 9 years ago.
So no big surprise there.
We used to run together and loved to participate in races but again, that all went by the wayside for me after 5 months of bedrest for Captain Underpants and then the seemingly impossible logistics of getting babysitting coverage for time spent on the running path. Then I was pregnant again, then breastfeeding and by the time I had the inclination to lace my trainers he'd already called time on our marriage.
So the running aspect makes sense.
As for the fact that this woman is younger, I have to be honest and say that he is probably relishing the fact that, in this relationship, he is the older, more experienced one. That this time around it is his turn to impress and take charge - to be looked up to in a manner which I possibly never demonstrated. I can imagine that is quite novel and satisfying, to finally be revered for being so successful and well travelled, rather than bitched at for making work such a priority and never being home.
So it makes sense.
I just hope it ultimately makes him happy.
And now - enough of all this self-absorption and repetitive, introspective posts! Time to get back to writing things of a more entertaining nature. It will be a pleasant distraction, that's for sure. Which begs the question....what the hell am I going to write about?