Saturday, November 28, 2009

Whatever Happened To Nativity Assemblies?

So here is proof beyond question that I am not going to be winning prizes any time soon for creating the most amazing costume for Captain Underpant's Christmas assembly.

Can anyone guess what this is meant to be?

What do you mean you need more clues?  Isn't it patently obvious?

Well, it is a tuna fish outfit of course.  Duh.  Life-like isn't it?  (Please stop sniggering at the back...let's leave that privilege to all the parents who will be attending the assembly next Friday.)

Yes, Captain Underpants is going to be a Tuna Fish Who Can't Carry A Tune in his Christmas assembly next week.  What relevance does that have to the festive season, I hear you ask?  Ah.  Good question.  Maybe there is supposed to be a tenuous link to the Loaves and Fishes biblical tale...I have no idea.

Of course, this isn't the whole ensemble (hey!  I can hear that collective sigh of relief you know).  There is also a hat with a picture of a tuna fish's head on it (well, there will be when ex prints off the picture and I stick it onto a circular piece of card and plonk it unceremoniously on Captain Underpant's oversized 6 year old head).  Oh and a microphone - because as part of the script Captain Underpants has to regale us with the sound of a tuna fish who can't carry a tune (my ears are still ringing from the round-the-clock rehearsals).

Needless to say, I am a little bit embarrassed by my efforts.  But not quite as embarrassed as I am sure I am going to be next Friday.  Costume making is SO not my forte (as if you hadn't figured that out for yourselves already).


I am sure it will all look okay when the outfit is complete and I am viewing it from a distance at the very back of the school hall.  I'm sure from a distance those pain-stakingly applied glittery scales will come into full effect.  Or they'll be invisible, one or the other.  I did toy with the idea of dressing him as a can of tuna, but quite frankly I wouldn't have known where to start with fashioning that costume.  Maybe I should have just taken it easy on myself and had him just stand on stage simply holding a can of, that is a costume I could handle.

Whatever happened to the traditional annual nativity play, where parents simply had to cut three holes in a white pillow case for a shepherd's robe and secure a tea towel on their child's head, held on by one of daddy's old ties?  That's what I want to know.


  1. Bless. We still have a nativity play at our school, with the children all dressed up as the three kings and Mary and Joseph etc., but even so all of the outfits have been bought in! Yeah, no more sewing!

  2. It's a shame that your boys won't experience a full on Nativity play. Luckily we moved after we'd sat through four years worth of them, but even so, they still went dressed up as a shark, parrot and other very unlikely Nativity characters. Our drama teacher always managed to bring it back to the main theme i.e. everyone was welcome at the stable.

    I'm impressed by the costume - way better than I've even achieved.

  3. Ah. Yes. I thought it looked like a tuna straightaway. :-)

  4. Thankfully I have NOT been asked to design and create a costume for my child's Christmas assembly. This year, they're all participating in 'Alice in Wonderland', a wonderful Christmas tale.
    Looking forward to pics of Mr. Tuna.

  5. I want to see the hat - show us the hat!

  6. Our school alternates between a nativity play and "soemthing else" each year. This is the "something else" year and one daughter is a rubbish collector in Eddie the Penguin Saves the World.

  7. It's a sad day when the child's reputation depends upon the creativity of the parents. I mean, who is being tested here? I am sure he will have fun dressing up and singing - can't wait to see the recording!

  8. I remember the traditional nativty plays from school. My sheeps costume was so big I couldn't see a thing and fell off the stage. The entire play was drowned out by the tiny sobbing sheep.

  9. I love the outfit, think it is genius. Who gets to think up the character of the tuna fish who can't carry a tune anyway? That is the job that I want!

  10. I think it's a great outfit, and totally creative.

    Reminds me of the time my husband met a friend walking down the road who said "I've just bought a tuner." He replied, "What, a whole tuna..?"

  11. NVG, that joke wouldn't work in America, would it, because the words would be tunerrrr, and tunah. They miss out on such a rich source of puns by bothering to pronounce their Rs. Instead of sitting on them.

    Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the tuna costume. My only wisdom on oceanically themed costumes comes from this Hallowe'en when my daughter wanted to be a mermaid. It was pretty easy, as she had a dress to wear which was the right colour, and she decided with no maternal prompting that she didn't want to bother with making or wearing a tail. But I felt she ought to do something in addition to just wearing a turquoise dress, so I cut strips of dark blue and light blue crepe paper, and stapled them to her hairband. I thought it looked fab - flowing and watery and generally mermaidy, but then someone asked me "Do mermaids have blue hair?" and I realised they had a point.

    And I'm with Potty Mummy. Let's see the hat. Let's see the hat!!