Saturday, November 28, 2009
Whatever Happened To Nativity Assemblies?
Can anyone guess what this is meant to be?
What do you mean you need more clues? Isn't it patently obvious?
Well, it is a tuna fish outfit of course. Duh. Life-like isn't it? (Please stop sniggering at the back...let's leave that privilege to all the parents who will be attending the assembly next Friday.)
Yes, Captain Underpants is going to be a Tuna Fish Who Can't Carry A Tune in his Christmas assembly next week. What relevance does that have to the festive season, I hear you ask? Ah. Good question. Maybe there is supposed to be a tenuous link to the Loaves and Fishes biblical tale...I have no idea.
Of course, this isn't the whole ensemble (hey! I can hear that collective sigh of relief you know). There is also a hat with a picture of a tuna fish's head on it (well, there will be when ex prints off the picture and I stick it onto a circular piece of card and plonk it unceremoniously on Captain Underpant's oversized 6 year old head). Oh and a microphone - because as part of the script Captain Underpants has to regale us with the sound of a tuna fish who can't carry a tune (my ears are still ringing from the round-the-clock rehearsals).
Needless to say, I am a little bit embarrassed by my efforts. But not quite as embarrassed as I am sure I am going to be next Friday. Costume making is SO not my forte (as if you hadn't figured that out for yourselves already).
I am sure it will all look okay when the outfit is complete and I am viewing it from a distance at the very back of the school hall. I'm sure from a distance those pain-stakingly applied glittery scales will come into full effect. Or they'll be invisible, one or the other. I did toy with the idea of dressing him as a can of tuna, but quite frankly I wouldn't have known where to start with fashioning that costume. Maybe I should have just taken it easy on myself and had him just stand on stage simply holding a can of tuna...now, that is a costume I could handle.
Whatever happened to the traditional annual nativity play, where parents simply had to cut three holes in a white pillow case for a shepherd's robe and secure a tea towel on their child's head, held on by one of daddy's old ties? That's what I want to know.