Wednesday, November 25, 2009
How To Be A Man Magnet: Tip #1
Be at the tail end of having Mum Cold (ie Flu).
Make sure your skin is pale and blotchy, your hair limp after not being able to face a shower for 3 days, your eyes bloodshot and your nose red and scabby from not having the impetus to use tissues imbued with aloe vera but instead have blown your nose for 72 hours straight on the scratchiest, recycled loo roll.
Venture out of the house in your PJ's, with a hat covered in cat fur over your head in a vague attempt to disguise the disaster area that is the hair/face combo.
Nip into your local coffee shop for a warming chai, before moving onto the afternoon school run.
Sit at the only vacant table, making eye contact with book/blackberry only.
Wait for 4 seconds.
Briefly consent to allow the sexy 40-something man who approaches to share your table.
Return all focus to your book/blackberry.
Slurp chai due to blocked sinuses.
Lick chapped lips.
Sneak a cheeky look at sexy 40-something's bum as he orders his coffee at the counter. Give him 8/10.
Allow brief eye contact when he returns to the table and make some smart arsed comment about the fact that he is being very Italian drinking an expresso at 2.30 in the afternoon.