Wednesday, November 25, 2009

How To Be A Man Magnet: Tip #1

Be at the tail end of having Mum Cold (ie Flu).

Make sure your skin is pale and blotchy, your hair limp after not being able to face a shower for 3 days, your eyes bloodshot and your nose red and scabby from not having the impetus to use tissues imbued with aloe vera but instead have blown your nose for 72 hours straight on the scratchiest, recycled loo roll.

Venture out of the house in your PJ's, with a hat covered in cat fur over your head in a vague attempt to disguise the disaster area that is the hair/face combo.

Nip into your local coffee shop for a warming chai, before moving onto the afternoon school run.

Sit at the only vacant table, making eye contact with book/blackberry only.

Wait for 4 seconds.

Briefly consent to allow the sexy 40-something man who approaches to share your table.

Return all focus to your book/blackberry.

Slurp chai due to blocked sinuses.

Lick chapped lips.

Sneak a cheeky look at sexy 40-something's bum as he orders his coffee at the counter. Give him 8/10.

Allow brief eye contact when he returns to the table and make some smart arsed comment about the fact that he is being very Italian drinking an expresso at 2.30 in the afternoon.

BINGO.

10 comments:

  1. Naughty naughty....

    And I have to say: it really hasn't worked for me. (Though maybe I need to try for the perfect combo.)

    Of course, I'm not shopping, either...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Teacher mommy - This is the thing, it does feel really naughty. And underhand. I have never dated more than one person at a time in my life. But a part of me thinks...well, better late than never. And he is quite intriguing (tho obviously quite short sighted).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Excellent! That means I'm a man magnet right.now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha! And to think of all the money we've wasted on cosmetics and hair products in the past...

    ReplyDelete
  5. trialling the dating two men at one time method? I'm way too British to consider that!What happened to sexy green eyed man?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Now you're just gloating....and I hate you. *stomps off to sulk*

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow - I must try that. Actually, my husband probably wouldn't approve.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MWA - yep, be careful you're obviously flaunting your most evocative look right now!

    Potty Mummy - I know, it does seem a waste. Should give up all that make up/shower nonsense and save myself a fortune. But I won't of course.

    Fraught Mummy - GEM still on the scene...update to follow. That's why there are now 2 men in the picture (gulp)

    notSupermum - please forgive me!

    Melissa - No husbands are not usually keen on being in a 2 man race...

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are the best, loving your style. He was obviously drawn by your charisma. My partner Bobo is well impressed, Vicks inhaler is a lesser known aphrodisiac round here.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hullaballoo - Vicks inhaler...surely you mean their chest rub?? ;-))

    ReplyDelete