Here Goes

So Johnny Drama is still sick...but an incredibly kind friend has offered to look after him for the day. Phew. Plans not foiled just yet.

Have spent HOURS trying to beautify myself. Have more slap on than I usually wear the whole year making me look more like BoBo the Clown rather than a sophisticated man magnet 40-something. Am wearing the 6th outfit that I tried on, which I actually thought was pretty impressive. The bedroom is like a bomb's hit it. Clothes laying strewn over every surface. Shoes higgledy piggledy all over the floor. Have decided to wear jeans with a bright tunic that looks like it was cobbled together from the remnants of a 1970's pair of curtains. I have only been wearing it 15 minutes and it is already sporting massive sweat stains. Reminder to self: keep arms pinned tightly to my sides at all times.

Am waiting for gorgeous guest girlfriend to arrive (only 25 minutes late so far). We have spent the morning on the phone and texting each other at 3 minute intervals during the getting ready drama (which probably explains why my eye makeup in particular looks like it was applied by a visually challenged chimp).

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God!

My stomach is churning so much I'm not sure whether I want to throw up or just shit myself. The tunic can definitely handle throw-up spillage - it's such a kaleidoscope of colours I'm fairly confident no one would notice.

At last. She is here. Off I go...into the breach and all that. Pip, pip, tally ho. Christ, I could have really done with that shit...