Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

So it has been quite a week. More downs than ups but just when you think it can't get any worse a friend rescues you and...before you know it you are invited to be on the Oprah Winfrey show.

YES! The Oprah show! Me. I am going to be filmed on the Oprah show on Thursday and it is freaking me out. And I need your help.

It all started on Wednesday when my friend had a ticket to be in the audience and at the end they were promoting a show due to be filmed next Thursday with Steve Harvey, where he would be taking questions regarding his latest book Act Like A Woman, Think Like A Man. So my unselfish friend, without a thought for herself, queued for an hour to talk to the producer and then she offered my services. The producers wanted to feature questions from women for men and Steve was going to do his damnest to answer them.

Apparently the majority of the women in front of her all had questions revolving around the same angle, the gist being 'why are men so threatened by my feminine power?' (I kid you not.)

My angle (apparently) is 'why do I constantly get male attention and get told I am funny, smart, beautiful and the sexiest woman they have ever met (snort) and then nothing happens?' I feel she is elaborating somewhat but hey, this is a chance for TV fame so nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

So now I have spoken to two producers and have been invited, along with a friend, to attend the show and have to be prepared to ask lots of questions. FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!

For a start, God only knows what my ex is going to think if he ever finds out I am talking on International TV about my issues with snaring a man. I am obviously going to keep stum and hope he never finds out.

The other issue is what the hell am I going to wear? Is anyone going to help me with my makeup or I am going to have the bare the embarrassment of telling everyone in the Western world that men tell me I am the sexiest thing on 2 legs...whilst looking like a complete troll?

And then of course, the real area where I need your help. The questions.

Two guys I have met and been out with in the past 3 months have given me the whole 'wow, you are lovely, sexy, any man would give his left arm to be with you' spiel before they hotfooted into the distance, never to be heard from again. So there is the original angle. I am also considering the 'am I in competition with young, hot 20 yr olds with no baggage, no kids and bigger boobs?...if so, I am so screwed' angle.

Whilst this is all a bit of a laugh, and I can't really believe I am about to have approximately 2 minutes of cringe-worthy fame, I am also a little intrigued by what I can learn. Ultimately, I do want to meet an incredible man and be in a relationship that might hopefully last the rest of my life. Being in the (outskirts) of the dating scene right now really does highlight how I just don't have a clue how men think. I don't want to be making the same mistakes over and over again in my 40s, possibly 50s and beyond (heaven forbid). I am really fucking lonely and need to know that this isn't going to last forever.

So c'mon everyone - help a girl out here a little. Do you have any questions that I can beg, borrow and steal for the show? What would you ask Steve, if you were in my position?