tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post2848665424039811403..comments2024-01-01T06:44:24.089-06:00Comments on Some Mothers Do Ave Em: Separation AnxietyNicolahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07017352687163694581noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-32823374735181885722009-03-03T16:28:00.000-06:002009-03-03T16:28:00.000-06:00I so feel for you and agree exactly about aching f...I so feel for you and agree exactly about aching for someone to take some of the strain. It is so not easy! Didn't realise quite what I was doing to my treasures until I overheard the elder saying to the younger, 'You're making me feel very, very, very, very tired.' At the time they were 5 and 3! And have never felt so bad about my own mothering after hearing a friend tell her daughter, as we drove along a motorway, that she was going to pull over on the hard shoulder and leave her behind. They know you love them and you won't leave and that's the important bit xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-61481022865575751262009-02-28T12:55:00.000-06:002009-02-28T12:55:00.000-06:00I can't think of anything to say that doesn't soun...I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound patronising or smug or just feeble. <BR/><BR/>Children are hugely demanding, and we all have our times when we feel we fail them. So long as they know you love them and are doing your best, the rest will follow.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-2253134844865543142009-02-27T08:36:00.000-06:002009-02-27T08:36:00.000-06:00I'm so sorry. I so know how you feel. I felt lik...I'm so sorry. I so know how you feel. I felt like that for ages. Still do sometimes. I'm not sure it ever goes away that feeling of aching for a happy family life, for normality and stability and happiness for the children. At least you know you can't go back which is a huge step. I felt lost and confused about what I wanted to do. Make sure you get some time for yourself and go out with some girlfriends to take the pressure off and remind yourself that there is a life beyond your four walls. . . and as you say try NOT to say that stuff to the kids, they will feel too insecure and need to know you are there for them and as a stark warning a woman I know in a more advanced divorce than mine warned me against it - she told her son to go and live somewhere else and he did! With his dad. and that's it for her and consequently I remember this and know that I will never say that to them - as they grow up they might take you seriously. Big hugs Lxfamily affairshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17896692261265817869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-84505387277166809182009-02-25T02:03:00.000-06:002009-02-25T02:03:00.000-06:00So sorry this is hard. And what a searingly honest...So sorry this is hard. And what a searingly honest post, thanks for writing it. I'm sure it's made a million times harder by being so far away from your family and old friends. I am also far from mine and although I'm not separated I can certainly relate to the utter loneliness you describe. <BR/>I think you do have to do whatever you can to get the rest you need. How old are your boys? Can you find other parents who'll do sleepover swaps with you? <BR/>And I don't think you are necessarily condemned to years of loneliness. You may well find someone else when the dust settles. Plenty of people do, stay hopeful!<BR/>Sending hugs. I think you're very brave. xoxo<BR/>ps i changed my feed which is why my posts aren't updating in your blogroll. too stupid to find the url for you now..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-22812026108817747112009-02-20T08:18:00.000-06:002009-02-20T08:18:00.000-06:00Mums the word - thank you sweetie. I know you wou...Mums the word - thank you sweetie. I know you would be here for me if you could x<BR/><BR/>Not Supermum - Thank you. I think the problem is that I don't have anyone here that I could ask. All my friends and relatives are 4,000 miles away. I do have a sitter who will happily have them overnight but it costs me $200 and I don't have the money right now to pay for it that often! Of course, ex does help when he is in town. Sad to think the loneliness doesn't get any better tho...Nicolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07017352687163694581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-18259469040301586782009-02-20T02:57:00.000-06:002009-02-20T02:57:00.000-06:00You're not a bad mum for saying those things, you ...You're not a bad mum for saying those things, you are simply exhausted. We say things we often regret when exhaustion takes over. But you are right to reassure the children that you will always be there for them - they really need to hear that from you.<BR/><BR/>I do know about the situation you find yourself in - except I'm further along than you. My husband left 6 years ago and I think the first year is the toughest. After that things start to fall into place and you take on new routines. I wish I could say the loneliness gets better. It doesn't but I've learned to deal with it better.<BR/><BR/>Do you have a friend or relative who could have the children for a couple of days while you rest and catch up with some sleep? Call in any favours you are owed and ask someone. Don't feel guilty about it, someone will probably jump at the chance to help you. The important thing is to look after yourself so that you can take care of the children. <BR/><BR/>Sending virtual hugs and best wishes to you xxxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5778330150286788997.post-76045479345145853122009-02-19T16:34:00.000-06:002009-02-19T16:34:00.000-06:00I wish there was something more that I could do to...I wish there was something more that I could do to help.<BR/>Pack the boys up and bring them here, I'll have them for a week and you can sleep.<BR/>Just remember it all takes time.<BR/>xxxMum's the wordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15955120503048845056noreply@blogger.com